Off To See The Wizard
by shadowglove
Summary: Lex took a deep breath and remembered that this was Chloe, and that he’d somehow fallen in love with a weird-magnet. If there was anything odd out in the world it’d somehow find its way to her. But still, wizards? C'mon! chloe/lex, oneshot


**Disclaimer: I do not own Smallville or Harry Potter.**

_Haven't done a CHLEX in a long time, and considering that it was my first ever Smallville OTP I feel ashamed----and I'm also a little frightened because Sabrina is probably plotting my death since I've promised her SO MANY TIMES that I would be working on a chlex soon and yet haven't!_

_I know this is kinda short compared to my usual work, but it's all the inspiration I got for a chlex so people, if you wanted a shadowglove chlex---be happy with what you got! Lol. _

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"Witches and wizards." Lex Luthor sat in the den of the home he'd bought for Chloe and himself to move into the day she graduated from high school some months ago. Steepling his fingers he remained silent, eyeing his fiancé, trying to figure out if she was being serious or not---you could never really tell with her.

"Yes, Lex, I know it's a stretch, but I'm telling you the truth." Chloe looked amused as she sauntered across the room and lowered herself onto his lap. "And why is it such a stretch to believe anyway? I _was_ possessed by that witch's ghost before graduation, remember?"

Lex tried _not_ to. Madelyn had not only taken over _his_ woman's body, but she'd been somewhat of a slut, dressed like a whore, and had had most of the Smallville males drooling and hard at the birthday party Lex, Clark, Lana and Lois had worked hard to make a success.

"So we _do_ know that witches existed in reality and it wasn't only old wives tales." Chloe pressed on, still smiling slightly.

Lex slipped an arm around her hips and turned his blonde slightly to get a good look at her face, and while her lips were curved in a mischievous smile her eyes were dead serious.

Just as he'd feared.

"Magical alternate world?" Lex asked, trying to make sure that he'd heard that part right.

"Annexed to ours." Chloe nodded, seeming to understand that he was making an effort to believe her and obviously pleased with him. "There are many different hidden entrances though, and we'd have to go through one of those."

"Okay, okay, putting all logic aside…" Lex took in a deep breath, trying to ignore all his reason (which screamed that what she was saying was pure _madness_) and remember that this was _Chloe_ he was speaking of, and that he'd somehow fallen in love with a _weird-magnet_. If there was anything odd out in the world that had yet to be discovered it'd somehow find its way to her.

He'd gotten used to that fact _years_ ago when they'd caused quite a scandal and started dating around her sixteenth birthday.

Lex closed his eyes and tried again. "Okay, let's say all of this is real. That we have a Witchy World--.

"Wizarding World." Chloe interrupted cheerfully.

"_Wizarding_ World—pardon my ignorance." Lex chuckled at the insanity of the situation and yet continued forwards quite bravely. "Let's say that there is a _Wizarding_ World annexed to ours that has _somehow_ managed to keep its existence hidden from us and the government all these years. Let's say that people in little pointy hats swaggering around with wands are common in this little realm."

"It's not _so_ little." Chloe grinned, seeming to _enjoy_ putting him through these sorts of mental tortures.

He was a man of science! He believed in what could be proved with facts! Did she even _realize_ how hard it was for him to accept the countless bizarre things that were attracted to her and happened on a seemingly monthly basis?

Clark he could overlook since the man was his best friend.

The rest of it, Lex wasn't as gracious with but had to put up with because while he was a man of science Chloe was a child of mythology, and apparently the love was mutual because all that was supposed to be just idiotic fantasies seemed to come true and come looking for her.

"Ok, a _realm_ then." Lex tried again. "This realm exists, magic exists, mythological creatures exist." How _hard_ to say all that! "Okay, that all said, and don't take this the wrong way honey, but _why_ would the Director---."

"_Headmaster_." Chloe grinned brighter, obviously enjoying this torment.

"_Headmaster_, why—why would the _Headmaster_ of Britain's most _elite_ school of Witchthing and Wandery---."

"_Witchcraft and Wizardry_!" Chloe giggled. "Lex, were you listening at _all_ when I was speaking to you?"

"Unfortunately it seems I was and this isn't an insane dream." Lex sighed, running his hand over his bald head, glad that he was already bald otherwise he'd have lost all his hair anyway with all the things Chloe put him through. "Why would this Dumbledork fellow want _you_ to teach at his school? You aren't a teacher! Or even a witch!" He froze and narrowed his eyes at her, wary. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

Chloe's grin was beautiful and completely amused. "Honey, the only time I did witchcraft was while I was possessed. That's the extent of my magical powers, believe me."

He sighed, relieved. He didn't know if he'd be able to put up with Chloe burning incense in the house and waving crystals in front of his face while commenting on his aura. He loved the woman to death but there was only so much he could handle.

"And to answer your question, it's _because_ I'm not a witch that _Dumbledore_ wants me to come and teach." Chloe grinned, tilting her head to the side. "He wants me to teach Muggle Studies---and before you ask what it is, it's a class that teaching wizards and witches about non-magic users and how they live. They call non-magical people _Muggles._"

"_Muggles_?" Lex snorted. "That makes us sound like rabid _puppies_."

Dimples appeared in her cheeks as her green eyes twinkled. "Yes well, also there's the fact that we just took down your daddy dearest and saved humankind. News of Lionel Luthor had spread to even the Wizarding World, apparently your father was helping fund some tyrant there, Volleymart or something like that."

"The tyrant's name was _Volleymart_?" Lex didn't know whether to laugh or be horrified. "What kind of civilization would allow themselves to be ruled by a tyrant called _Volleymart_? It's _degrading!"_

"Well, I _think_ that was his name, but apparently people only referred to him as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named." Chloe shook her head thoughtfully.

"I wouldn't want my name mentioned either if it was _Volleymart_." Lex snorted.

Chloe giggled and rested her head under his chin, sighing as she contentedly breathed in his scent. "Have I told you I loved you today?"

"Not enough times for that you sprung _this_ on me." Lex murmured, cradling her in his arms and sighing as well, a small smile on his lips. "Are you truly serious about all this? About the Wizarding World and He-Whose-Name-Is-Too-Embarrasing-To-Say?"

"Yeah. As crazy as it sounds, I'm completely serious." Chloe announced softly. "Dumbledore says that Volleymart had a hatred for Muggles and so did a lot of pureblood wizards, and now that the war is over the Headmaster wants to make Muggle Studies obligatory and teach the Wizarding World about us and how we are not inferior."

"Wait, He-Whose-Name-Is-Ridiculous was against Muggles and yet my father _funded_ his work? How is that possible?" Lex asked completely perturbed.

"Apparently your father was a Squib." Chloe seemed hesitant.

Lex didn't know what a Squib was, but it sounded insulting, so naturally he agreed. "Of course he was."

Chloe giggled. "Lex, a Squib is someone from a magical family who was born without any magical abilities."

And Lex Luthor froze. "_What_?"

"Apparently the Luthors were once one of the _purest_ of purebloods, and then your father was born a squib. He couldn't take the humiliation, blamed your grandparents, killed them, and came with all their money to the muggle world." Chloe pulled away slightly and looked into his eyes. "He met your mother, had you, and the rest is history."

Lex was _still_ frozen, looking down at her in horror.

"You're what they call a _half_ blood, because you have pure blood and muggle blood in you." Chloe was cautious and wary as she said that. "So if there's anyone in this relationship who could be magical---it's _you_."

Lex tried to speak, but somehow his throat had clamped up.

"That's _another_ reason why Dumbledore contacted me." Chloe continued slowly. "I'm your _fiancé_, together we took down your father and foiled his quest for world domination. I'm also a meteor freak, so I am used to abnormality and frankly, he's a fan."

"Huh?" Confusion had overloaded his mind and Lex was only running on autopilot.

Chloe grinned, proud. "Albus Dumbledore is a fan of _moi_." She brought a hand to her chest. "Apparently someone from the Wizarding World was passing through Smallville during vacation and somehow got a hold of one of the first editions of the Torch after I became Editor and gave it to him. And he _liked_ it! He _subscribed_ to it!"

"He---subscribed to your high school newspaper?" Lex was more and more sure that despite everything this was only a dream. A very weird, very _demented_ dream.

"I don't even know how he did it considering they get their correspondence through _owl post_, but he has every article I've ever written for the Torch and he _really_ wants me to come and work for him and I _really_ want to as well!"

Lex winced, hearing that pleading in her voice---the pleading he was hardly _ever_ able to say no to. "Chloe I don't---."

"At least come and see the place with me!" Chloe begged, jumping off of his lap and walking towards the chimney. "He should be here any minute now to floo us to Hogsmead and take us to the school so we can have a tour."

"Dumbledore is coming here?" Lex frowned, not sure he approved of this. He'd gone along with many of Chloe's apparently crazy ideas, and he loved the somewhat insane blonde, but he had to draw the line _somewhere_.

"No, it's a professor from the school, I think he teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts or something exciting-sounding like that." Chloe was saying, ignorant to Lex's steel determination to stop this lunacy.

"I'm not going." Lex announced, surprising both Chloe and himself with how _firm_ he sounded. "I will _not_ go traipsing around supposed magical realms with strangers who think they're wizards to some _Witch High_ and give into this lunacy."

Chloe furrowed her forehead. "But _Lex_---."

The fireplace suddenly erupted with green smoke and out of the smoke stepped a meticulously dressed male with silky platinum blonde hair, silver eyes, and porcelain skin. His robes were black and green, his eyes surveying the house critically before he turned to Chloe. "This _is_ the Luthor Residence, is it not?"

"Yes, well, it's not the Luthor Castle, if that's what you're asking." She announced with a frown. "I refused to live there. Bad memories." She then grinned brightly. "I'm Chloe Sullivan by the way, you must be Professor Malfoy."

The man raised an eyebrow at Chloe before speaking once again. "Yes, my name is Draco Malfoy and I will be your colleague if you choose to accept the gracious offer Albus has given you. It is a pleasure to meet you, my colleagues and I have heard the story of how you almost singlehandedly brought down your tyrant."

Lex narrowed his eyes when this _Draco Malfoy_ raised _his_ woman's hands to his lips and kissed it.

Chloe blushed, blinking in surprise. "Oh, uh, it _really_ wasn't _that_ impressive. Lex and I had a lot of h-help."

The bastard had her _stammering._

Lex hated him already. "You look young to be a professor."

Malfoy turned to him, apparently unimpressed by his scowl. "You learn more in the battlefield than you do in a classroom---Luthor, I presume."

Lex nodded.

Malfoy looked him over once more before dismissing him and turning to Chloe. "Will he be joining us on the tour?"

"No." Chloe announced sadly the same time Lex declared determinedly: "_Yes_."

Chloe blinked and turned to her fiancé in obvious surprise. "But you just said---."

"I changed my mind." Lex stormed towards them and placed an arm around her waist, bringing her towards him. "This _is_ a part of my heritage, right? I think I should go with you since if you decide to take this post as teacher I _will_ be moving with you to this Fairy Realm."

He'd said that on purpose, enjoying Malfoy's eyes narrowing at him.

Chloe looked at him in slight confusion but then shook her head and smiled. "Okay, great, I really wanted you to come anyway."

Lex smiled down at her and sighed, wondering when his world of fact and logic had turned upside-down, and when he'd just stopped caring. "So?" He sighed, eyes on his woman. " 'We're off to see the wizard'?"

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**Hey! This oneshot wasn't meant to be taken seriously, but was just a fun, humorous little piece that I hoped you all enjoyed!**

**Review?**


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